in Divorce, Holidays

Representing Yourself in Separation/Divorce: Is There Anyone to Help?

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Do you want to represent yourself in your separation/divorce? Makes sense. You can save a lot of money. But you aren’t a lawyer. It can be a bit scary. We can support you in a variety of ways.

We can draft documents for you but you go to court on your own thus saving you money. We can offer legal advice and coaching in the background but you do the direct negotiations or represent yourself in court. Alternatively, we can go to court with you for just one or two steps in the process but you don’t retain us for the whole process.

Whatever help you need, we can craft a plan that will give you a leg up and save you money.

A clearly worded limited purpose retainer agreement is critical to ensure that we, at Galbraith Family Law, know our responsibilities and you know your responsibilities. Together, we agree what services will be provided. You aren’t signing a blank cheque for legal fees but you are getting help so that you can do your best.

We can help you understand the process options, court procedure, ensure that you meet filing deadlines, help you develop a compelling legal argument and advise you as to the likely range of outcomes. We can suggest the evidence you need and guide you through the maze of the law.

In the end, you are calling the shots but we help you do your best and save money in legal fees. You may not be a lawyer but with some help from us, you can achieve your goals.

Written by Lynn Kirwin. Family law lawyer at Galbraith Family Law. To see Lynn’s bio click here. If you wish to book a consultation with Lynn please go to our website.

in Divorce

3 Ways Your Divorce is More Complicated than It Needs to Be (and How to Fix It)

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Nobody says at the wedding ceremony: “People have gathered together to celebrate the very special love between BRIDE and GROOM, by joining them in marriage, for approximately 3 years.” No one would hire that priest if that would be the case. Sadly, though, a lot of marriages will end in divorce sooner or later, according to data from the National Survey of Family Growth.

This process comes with pain, anger and frustration in most cases. It is the equivalent of performing surgery on yourself. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can always try to pull through this with dignity.

Here’s how…

There Are Kids Involved

And this is how it becomes infinitely more painful and complicated. Traumatic for both parents and children at first, it turns out that staying in an unhealthy marriage is far more difficult for children than a divorce.

In order to protect your kids, you should try to smoothen the transition for them, keeping them away from your conflicts or arguments. Furthermore, it is known that children who have passed through their parent’s divorce will cope with it better if they will keep a strong relationship with both parents.

You can even try a program specially designed for situations like this, when the parents need to make the relationship with their children even tighter. Another option is for the parents to think of a plan to present to the kids and to openly talk about everything. If you are going to move them to a new home, it would be helpful if you would let them know that at least a few weeks before the change.

Mediation Should Come First

It is given that the ending of a marriage represents a carousel of emotions –grief, pain, fear, you name it. The things you knew are never going to be the same, you will have to build a life from scratch, and this is a heavy burden on any person’s shoulders.

You must keep in mind that all of these feelings are normal, in order to maintain yourself calm, and that they will slowly subside in time. You mustn’t be too harsh on yourself in this period, and most of all, if possible, you should be kind with your partner, because the process will be much easier for both of you.

In order to not forget important details, you must consider writing some things down, and use that list when you will talk to your ex-partner.  You can always discuss some of these things over email, if you are feeling that meeting face to face would be too difficult.

Legal Options

A rather simpler and cleaner way to handle a divorce is either by having a collaborative one, or by mediation. For the first one, you will need professional help from attorneys, and perhaps even divorce coaches or therapists. They will be of great help when needing to divide a property, to split finances and even on coping with the emotional stress.

There are voices that disagree with this option, arguing that they are time and money consuming, and that they rarely are experts. However, you can not contradict the fact that it is a much cleaner way to end a marriage, being less adversarial and personal.

Your other option is mediation. In this case you will only have to deal with one person – the mediator. In contrast with the collaborative divorce, this is more of a long term process. In addition, you are allowed to consult an attorney if you believe it is necessary, at any point of the mediation.

Undeniably, cooperation and communication are the Holy Grail of divorces, since they are usually very difficult to achieve. It does pay off, though, if you manage to control your emotions and choose to be open in this process. The end goal is to make the best decisions about your children, financial aspects or even about ending a loving relationship in the proper way.

It is critical to have a clear mind, since many mistakes are being made in the heat of the moment that will probably impact later on. You must always think of the end goal and of the fact that you will survive this bravely, with as little bruises as possible.

A new chapter awaits…

This article was provided by Queens personal injury lawyer Michael Dreishpoon

in Children, Custody and Access

CLEO’s Steps to a Family Law Case

Here is a new tool for family law clients. It is an interesting flow chart that explains the various processes for resolution of family law issues.

Unfortunately, it gives very little space to Collaborative Practice  and ignores the interdisciplinary nature of the process but it details the court process well.

I think you’ll enjoy it!

http://www.cleo.on.ca/en/family-flowchart/steps-family-law-case

 

in Divorce, Spousal Support

Disclosure- Why You Want to Provide IT!

In an ideal world, parties who see their relationship/marriage ending would voluntarily exchange all the relevant financial information required under the law. This would facilitate the negotiation of both support and property division and an agreement could be quickly drafted. Sadly, this is not yet the norm in family law disputes.
Both the Family Law Rules and Judges have repeatedly stated that parties have an obligation to make full and fair disclosure, even if a particular item is not requested. Without disclosure, it becomes quite a challenge to even start talking about a resolution to financial matters arising from relationship/marriage breakdown.

The Courts are becoming increasingly annoyed by parties who refuse to provide the required relevant disclosure. So it is important to remember that more information is better. If you choose to make the tragic mistake of refusing to provide the information to your former spouse, the courts can force you to do so by way of court order. If you ignore a court order to do so, the courts could strike your pleadings and order costs against you. This means, that your ex can now proceed without you having any say whatsoever in the outcome.

Failing to provide financial disclosure is nothing but an exercise in wasting time and money (not just your ex’s but yours as well). While a non-lawyer may have difficulty in deciding what is and is not relevant to resolving the financial issues in a marriage/relationship breakdown, we at Galbraith Family Law are happy to help you.

Written by Anna Preston. Family law lawyer at Galbraith Family Law. To see Anna’s bio click here. If you wish to book a consultation with Anna please go to our website.

in Divorce, Holidays

Your First Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzza Since Divorce? Ugh.

I published this blog a few years ago. Many people have commented positively about it. As a result, it is becoming a Christmas tradition.  So, here it goes again!

Are you dreading Christmas? Will it be your first special holiday since your separation? Are you depressed about not having your children for New Year’s Eve, or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or some other special day. Whatever the holiday, you are not alone.

I remember the first Christmas that my three boys were with their mother Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I cried and felt depressed most of the day. The time seemed to creep by so slowly. I felt all alone and like a failure.

I should have taken my 6 year old son’s advice.

A few days before Christmas, he knew he would spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with his Mom because that’s what we agreed. So, he asked me to write a letter to Santa and ask him to come to my house on December 26th instead of the 25th. My son said that Santa comes to Steve’s house (Steve is my friend who is divorced with kids too) on the 26th so he was sure he wouldn’t mind coming to our house then too!

Of course, Santa did come on December 26th, even without a letter, but I think the message my son unwittingly was giving me was that it does not matter when we celebrate Christmas…lets just make whatever day we have together full of love, gratitude, Santa and fun. He knew Santa (and joy) would arrive whenever we wanted them to arrive. We just had to schedule it.

To help make your holidays special, here are ten things you can do:

1.  Ensure your schedule is specific. You and your ex spouse should confirm well in advance when each of you will have the children. If you don’t have specific times already agreed, negotiate the days and times as soon as possible. There are too many other sources of stress in December so try to nail down your times with your children now.
2.  Don’t fight over which days you have your children. Whenever you have them, make it special. If you really need particular days, offer to trade days with your ex spouse or give your ex spouse those special days next year. Treat your ex they way you would like to be treated, even if it isn’t reciprocated.
3.  Do something special for yourself. I make myself some of my favorite food, pour myself some wine, watch some basketball in front of the fireplace and wrap presents all day on December 25th. Actually, I look forward to my day spent all by myself. I am totally relaxed and ready when the boys come over on December 26th.
4.  Support your children having a good time with their other parent. If you need to speak to someone about your sad feelings, talk to a friend or therapist – not your kids. The children don’t need to hear it. They need to hear that it is okay to have fun with their other parent too.
5.  Create new traditions. This is a new beginning for you and your children so don’t try to replicate the past. Find new ways to celebrate the event. You can preserve some of the past traditions but find new ways of celebrating too. My parents always put a maraschino cherry on the top of our grapefruits Christmas morning so I continue to do the same now. Change things up too… I started singing Christmas carols after our Christmas dinner.
6.  Get outside. Go for a walk or ski or snowshoe. There is nothing more rejuvenating than being outside with nature and your family. When your kids are with you, take them outside too. A good snowball fight can really build up an appetite.
7.  Give of your heart. If you have just recently separated, money is likely short so don’t try to spend like you did in the past. Do something special for the people you love. Maybe you can write a special little poem for each of them or list twenty ways you appreciate them. Gifts often don’t have lasting meaning. Can you even list five gifts you received last year or the year before? It is the feelings of love and appreciation that last forever.
8.  Stay sober. If you over-drink, you run the risk of crumbling into a pile of self-pity and depression. Nobody wants to see that and certainly your kids don’t need to see it. Have fun but be careful so you can keep it together emotionally, especially during your first Christmas since your separation.
9.  Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. If your family or friends are negative, remind them the season is all about gratitude, love and appreciation. Park you own negativity and search for the positive in everything and everyone, even your ex spouse.
10.  Relax. Know that in time the holidays will become easier to get through and more fun. Just take a deep breath and get through your first set of holidays. Next year, it will be better. Trust me.
There are several wonderful blogs about surviving the holiday season after divorce.

Now, my youngest son is 12 years old and he says the best thing about Mom and Dad having separated is that he enjoys “two Christmases, two Easters and two Thanksgivings!” He says “if you like that kind of food, it’s great!” Let me assure you… he certainly does like “that kind of food!”

So make it a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa or whatever special holiday you are celebrating this year. Joy will come whenever you schedule its arrival. It is up to you.

 

Written by Brian Galbraith. Owner and family law lawyer at Galbraith Family Law. To see Brian’s bio click here. If you wish to book a consultation with Brian please go to our website.

in Property Issues

Living Together: 5 considerations to protect yourself

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  1. In Ontario you are usually considered common-law if you’ve lived together for 3 years or as soon as you have a child together. In most Federal laws, a common-law relationship is recognized after 1 year.  If you fall into this category – read on!
  2. If you have a child together, and later separate, the same rules apply regarding child support as for married couples. Common-law spouses also have similar rights and responsibilities regarding spousal support as married couples in Ontario.  The legal responsibility to support your spouse applies if you have lived together continuously for 3 years, or are in a relationship of “some permanence” and have a child together.
  3. Only married couples share the value of their property when they separate. But, when two people live together in a common-law relationship their property often becomes intermixed.  If they separate, disagreements arise about what each person will take from the relationship.  If one partner has contributed time or work that helps the other buy or maintain property, such as a home, this may give rise to a claim for the non-owner spouse.  It gets complicated, fast….
  4. Common law spouses do not have equal rights to stay in the family home following separation if their name is not on title. And the spouse who has legal title to the home can sell or re-mortgage without the other’s written permission.
  5. A Cohabitation Agreement is the best way to protect yourself from the uncertainty of separating from a common-law spouse. In it, you and your partner can decide how to arrange finances and how to deal with property, support, and debts if you separate.

Please visit our website www.GalbraithFamilyLaw.com to learn more and click here to book a consultation with one of our lawyers.

in Divorce, Uncategorized

Timely Cost Effective Resolution of Family Law Matters

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Do you want your family law issues resolved in a timely and cost-effective manner? Who doesn’t?  Everyone wants to get the door closed on their past and move forward with their new life. We get it.

At Galbraith Family Law, we are dedicated to the resolution of family law matters in a timely and cost effective manner.  Our lawyers work together with experienced law clerks. If we can save you money by asking our clerks to perform a service, we do it.  This keeps your costs down and results in a faster resolution of your case.

This team approach also means that a member of our team is almost always available to help you.   You get the help you want when you need it most.

Our law clerks do not offer legal advice but often they can help you get the information you need.

We also use the latest cutting-edge technology and office systems to ensure we can effectively achieve your goals.

If we are efficient and effective, you’ll be happy.  We know happy clients refer us to their friends and family. That makes us happy.

If you have family law related matters to address, let the experienced team of family law professionals at Galbraith Family Law work with you to get the best possible results in a timely and cost effective way.

Written by Alexander Beadie. A family law lawyer at Galbraith Family Law. To see Alex’s bio click here. If you wish to book a consultation with Alexander please go to our website.

in Property Issues

Forcing the Sale of the Matrimonial Home

iStock_000004886744_LargeOne of the key assets in any marriage is the matrimonial home. It is where the spouses have lived together and often raised their family; it can be full of both good and bad memories, and for some spouses it can have an emotional value to them way out of accord with its actual monetary value. This can lead, in turn, to spouses refusing to list and sell jointly owned matrimonial homes or refusing to agree to sell their half or buy the other spouses half of the house from the other, often because they emotionally can’t give it up. Spouses can attempt to hold on to the matrimonial home, but unfortunately for them, when the matrimonial home is jointly owned legislation provides the courts in Ontario with a means to force the listing and sale of the matrimonial home.
In situations where the matrimonial home is owned jointly, it must be remembered that both spouses have a right to possess it both during marriage as well as after separation, and neither spouse has to sell their half of the ownership. Spouses do not have a right of first refusal to purchase the matrimonial home from the other where it is jointly owned. In fact, in Ontario the Partition Act provides the courts with the power to force the sale of a jointly owned matrimonial home, if the parties can not come to an agreement on the one buying the other out. Spouses are entitled to list the matrimonial home on the market in an effort to receive the highest sales price for it, and are not required to accept less than the price that the market will bear from their spouse.
It must be remembered that the Partition Act is only available in situations of joint ownership. Where the title to the matrimonial home is in the name of only one of the spouses, then the Partition Act does not apply. This does not mean that the other spouse has no claim against the matrimonial home. The non-titled spouse still has a claim to the equity from the property through the equalization process provided for under the Family Law Act, and may have equitable trust claims against it as well. However, title counts, and in this case, the non-titled spouse can not force the titled spouse to sell the matrimonial home, or limit the ability of the titled spouse to keep it, sell it, refinance it or even make a gift of it.
For spouses who jointly own the matrimonial home, it is very important that they think long and hard and early in the process as to whether they can reasonably can afford to buy their spouse out of the matrimonial home, carry the costs of that purchase and the regular monthly costs, or whether it would be best for them instead, to sell out their interest to their spouse, or agree to list the matrimonial home for sale as quickly as possible and attempt to get the highest price. While the matrimonial home may be full of memories, it must be remembered that the courts will focus only on the real property value of the matrimonial home and the right of the other spouse to maximize their return from it; it will put no stock in the value of emotions, and will be unmoved by such concerns. As well, it should be remembered that if a spouse should seek to buy out the interest of the other in the matrimonial home, then in a sense, they have made it a valuable hostage to be exploited by the other spouse, who might seek to gain concessions in return for agreeing to sell the house to the spouse who wants it. The spouse who wants it might say it is worth it, and may give a number of reasons, such as wanting to keep the children in the neighbourhood that they have grown up in; and at a basic human level, those are good reasons. But that spouse should not be surprised when their desire to keep the house is seen as an advantage to the other spouse to be exploited.

 

Written by Mervyn White. A family law lawyer at Galbraith Family Law. To see Merv’s bio click here. If you wish to book a consultation with Mervyn please go to our website.

 

 

in Collaborative Practice, Process Choices

A Better Way to Separate

There is a movement afoot.

Many of the professionals involved in helping families through separation are trying to help steer people away from long, drawn-out and costly court battles. There is talk of the concept of ‘separating together’. There is the supposed oxymoron of the ‘peacemaking lawyer.’ There is the idea of achieving something better out of a painful situation. Collectively, people are recognizing the value of lower conflict, common sense, cost-efficient separation and family conflict solutions.
One of the manifestations of this movement is the newly-created Family Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario. This organization was founded to bring various professionals involved in supporting people through separation, including family or mental health professionals, financial specialists and business valuators, mediators, arbitrators, collaborative professionals, lawyers, counsellors and divorce coaches under one umbrella organization. The purpose of the organization is to help Ontarians find better ways to resolve the issues involved with separation, divorce and family disputes. These ways focus on out-of-court settlements.
Taken from an FDRIO letter to its members: “Along with being less adversarial and often less damaging to parents and their children, these other means of dispute resolution can address problems such as addictions, mental health, safety and family violence that traditional litigation processes often do not.”
Many municipalities across Ontario are proclaiming November 23 – 27 “FDR Week”, and are holding one or more public forums on November 24, 2015, open to the public and free of charge. Shortly, we will be releasing more information about an event being planned for Orillia. Also, check out our website for more information about out-of-court process options for finalizing a separation at www.GalbraithFamilyLaw.com.

Written by Toni Nieuwhof, a lawyer at Galbraith Family law. Here is a link to Toni’s profile. To book a consultation with Toni, please go our website.

in Children, Custody and Access, Co-parenting, Divorce, Emotional Journey

6-year-Old Explains Everything You Need to Know About Divorce

When a group of relationship counselors was polled to determine what the leading cause of divorce was, 74% of them agreed that the biggest predictor was differing opinions on things like money or raising children. These are issues that have to be hammered out in a divorce, so if you struggled to get along with your spouse during marriage, divorce can turn the simmering debate into an all-out war. Assets have to be divided, and co-parenting arrangements must be made, but don’t allow the process to make you lose sight of what’s really important.

A Minor Skirmish Between Parents is a Battle in a Child’s Eyes

A little girl’s video for her parents has just gone viral. According to Tiana’s mother, her parents are already divorced and are co-parenting the six-year-old. Tiana’s mom went out to badminton one day, and left Tiana in the care of her father. Upon her return, Tiana’s mom discovered that one of her shelving units in the garage had fallen apart, leaving more than 50 pairs of shoes scattered about. Her dad came outside and ranted a bit about how the units were garbage, and Tiana’s mom tells him to go away if he isn’t going to help. It sounds like the type of mild disagreement many parents have, and the girl’s mom said on her Facebook page that it wasn’t even an actual argument. To little Tiana, though, it was a fight, and it upset her to see her parents treat each other poorly.

Tiana’s Viral Video Tells Parents How to Handle Divorce

“I’m not trying to be mean. I just want everyone to be friends,” Tiana says near the start of the video. “And if I can be nice, I think all of us can be nice, too.” Her wishes echo what experts advise of co-parents today. It’s important for parents to avoid having any tumultuous discussions in front of their children, even if the parents don’t believe it’s an actual argument. Children often believe the problem is much worse than it is, and they routinely blame themselves for it. In this case, the discussion didn’t involve Tiana, though had it been her toys that fell, rather than shoes, it would be easy to see how a child could fault herself.

A Calm, Business-Like Relationship is Necessary for Co-Parenting

In the video, Tiana goes on to explain how she wants everyone to smile, and that she wants “everything to settle down.” She asks her parents to do their best, and says, “I want you to settle your mean heights down a little to little short heights.” All too often, parents continue to hold anger towards a former spouse, for what they should have done, or over ways they have been wronged. Although it’s difficult, experts agree that it’s imperative that parents set these feelings aside. The divorce is done, and the relationship is over. While divorced parents may never be friends, a business-like relationship can be formed. This enables the former couple to check their emotions, and handle ongoing responsibilities as if coworkers.

Meet Some Parents who Got it Right
coupleInterestingly, “divorce selfies” seem to be on the rise. One particular former couple snapped their photo outside the local courthouse, just after filing. Shannon Neuman posted the image with a note to her Facebook page, though she probably wasn’t expecting the massive response she received. “We have respectfully, thoughtfully and honourably ended our marriage in a way that will allow us to go forward as parenting partners for our children,” she wrote. She then went on to explain that they’ve decided to co-parent as positively as possible, so their children never feel like they have to choose. She adds, “It’s possible to love your kids more than you hate/distrust/dislike your ex,” which is certainly a message that deserves to be relayed.
That’s not to say that Tiana’s parents have failed, or are causing long-term damage. It’s ok for kids to see disagreements, and it’s healthy for them to see how they can be worked out peacefully. However, discussions about the divorce or parenting should never occur around them, and parents should do their best (as Tiana would say) to be friendly to each other. While the relationship may be over, you will always have your former partner as a co-parent, and your child loves him or her as much as he loves you. Be mindful of your words and actions.

Written by Robert Widner, a Divorce Lawyer in Dallas Texas

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